The Most Embarrassing Part Yet...

Good morning lovelies.  I am so sorry that I haven't blogged in like, over 2 weeks.  I've had a bit of a personal situation arise and it has caused major stress and anxiety.  And unfortunately, along with that, has come a lot of emotional eating and NOT SO MUCH motivation.  I also woke up on my birthday (the day I was supposed to start this whole thing) with a horrible head cold and terrible sore throat.  And even tho I finally recovered from that a few days ago, I still haven't worked out.  So yeah- after a long talk with my best friend, I am back on track this morning.  She said something that I really needed to hear. *And you're pretty good at that, aren't you Alix ;)* "Come on dude, I know you've been sick, but walking is better than nothing.  This year is supposed to be your year."  And then, "That's understandable, the sick part for sure... but the stress- it's ALWAYS going to be a part of your life.  You have to start being that habit just like cigs.  And on the days when you fail u can either eat a bunch and be lazy, or eat a bunch and walk/run as much off as you can.  Even if you can't beat the eating, you can exercise every day for SURE."  Just the motivational words I needed to hear.  THANKS BESTIE BEST.  So yes, I have been in hiding for a couple weeks, but I am out now.  So today marks my official starting day.  I am really not comfortable with posting pics just in bra/underwear (even if I had a smokin' hot body that's just not for me) but I WILL share my weight now, something I've never done.  My starting weight, as of this morning, is 253 lbs.  Gah.  I can barely utter that number out loud.  Time to start making that number lower DAY by DAY by DAY.  My goal weight is 150 lbs.  And just a side note, even in high school as an athlete who cared about nothing but sports, I was solid rock muscle, and still weighed about 170.    I am saying this because I was in the best shape of my life and still weighed that.  So, I'm not sure if 150 is something that is even realistic for me.  I haven't weighed that since probably middle school.  Anyway- there you have it.  I just went public with my ginormous number.  253 lbs of sweet love LOL LOL LOL.  But today it starts falling off.  TODAY.  I am no longer trying to achieve huge goals in my life (not just this one) without God.  He is first.  No matter what, and I can't do this without letting him have control.  I am so blessed beyond words.  Let's DO THIS THING!

7 Days Left of This Pre-Game

Alright ladies.  It's getting closer and closer.  1 week til my 26th birthday.  And if you've read this before you know what that means.  That day marks the first day of the year I'm changing it all.  As I mentioned, I have 100lbs to lose to reach my goal weight.  But I also did a jumpstart to this which was 3 weeks.  I have 1 week left from today.  I wanted to lose 10lbs in this 3 weeks and I have lost almost 7, but plateauing the past 3 days.  So hopefully the addition 3-5 lbs will drop off within the next week.  I have been working my balls off at home with eating right and working out!  So I'm definitely ready to see the results start rolling in!!  LOL.  Anyway, just one more week and pre-gaming is over.  GAME TIME IN 7 DAYS AND COUNTING!!!!!  I am really starting to discover a lot about myself on this journey, and there have already been times I wish I had someone to take this plunge (hehe) with me!  So don't be scared to comment or even contact me privately.  WE CAN DO THIS!!!!!  WOOP WOOP!!!!!!

AWESOME WORKOUT!!!- making me cry and stuff :)

Warning: I am going to ramble on a lot in this post. :) First of all, I just wanted to say how AWESOME I'm feeling, and I haven't even lost 10lbs yet. Just a little over a week of "changes" in my lifestyle, and I can just feel the improvements. Tomorrow will be 2 weeks since I made the "3-week Jumpstart" goal, but it will only mark 1 week that I have actually been doing it. Eating good and working out. The eating good has definitely taken longer to take part in, but again, I can already tell a difference and so grateful I finally started! I've already cut off almost 5 full minutes off of my 3mile and last night I ran about 20min of it, compared to about 5 minutes (combined) a week ago. I really wanted to eat everything in sight last night when I got home from work. It was cloudy, chilly in our house with a nice breeze coming through the windows. AKA a perfect evening for sweats and snuggling and snacking and lazying around. (Really all favorites of mine, hence my current condition ;) ) But instead, I had a small snack and forced myself onto the treadmill. And boy am I glad I did. A medley of walking 4.0mph, running at 5.5 & 6.0 mph, and walking at 3.5mph with an incline. I haven't worked with the incline much on my treadmill but I ended up at 7.0 when things were said and done and let me just say, IT'S A TRUE CALORIE BURNER. I worked harder than I have in years during last night's workout and it wasn't even planned. I just felt the urge to keep fighting and working harder. I even found myself saying aloud, "Come on. Come on. Come on." And that's what I did. At the end of my workout I threw my hands in the air and shouted "WOOOOO!!!!! WOOHOOOO!!!!!!!" Not realizing how loud the celebration was and my children came running, "WHAT MAMA? WHAT?!" LOL. I couldn't help it. I was just so excited. Something similar happened to me Saturday, when I did The Biggest Loser Cardio Max workout, I also had an unexpected reaction. It's a good thing the boys were at their Grammy's this time, because I was unsure if I could even do this whole workout. And just about the time I felt I couldn't go on much longer, trainer Bob said, "Alright. Drop the weights. You just made it through your first Level 1 Cardio Workout. And what did I do? Just completely lost it. Burst into tears. Uncontrollable tears. But here's the thing, they were tears of joy. I was just overwhelmed with just so much joy and I was PROUD of MYSELF for the first time in, well a long time. I had a moment with myself, and celebrated with myself. And after a couple minutes started laughing at myself. "You silly friggin' goose." :) Needless to say, there are quite a few emotions attached to this journey, and they are just starting to be uncovered. The latest one? DETERMINATION. It's so awesome to be living out something I've been wanting to do for so long. So thank you again for your amazing support, prayers, and words of encouragement. It's really helping me stick with it, and I hope I can do the same for you!

Mama Jean's- My New Favorite Place

Good morning friends.  A long weekend that was completely FULL has kept me from posting in a few days.  My weekend started out GRAND with getting up early and making my first ever trip to Mama Jean's Natural Foods.  I've been wanting to hit up this place for quite awhile now and finally got to.  I didn't really know what I'd be walking in to, but was pleasantly surprised, to say the least.  I was immediately attracted to their produce section.  And can I just say WOW!  My mouth was watering lol.  The fruits and veggies were in a word, beautiful.  HA!  It's true though.  As a long-time shopper of, well, I won't say the name, but it rhymes with schmall schmart :).  Anyway, after years of shopping there, it's a shock to see what locally grown, organic produce looks like.  I stocked up on so much of it and have already been eating up the gorgeous, perfect tomatoes! (And a few other things too.)  My dad just so happened to call me as I was just starting to pick out some stuff to bag up and put in my cart.  I babbled to him for about an hour (almost the entire shopping trip) cuz I was just overwhelmed with excitement for the journey I'm starting.  We got to talk the whole time I was going up and down the aisles of this unknown health food store and that made it even more enjoyable.  (Just wanted to share that :))  Anyway, I ended up with 2 cart-fulls of food.  So much I want to try and so much I want my boys to try.  I'm not just trying to lose weight, I'm trying to change my lifestyle.  And this was just one of many of the first big steps in doing so.  I will definitely be frequenting this store often now.  I also wanted to brag on the staff at Mama Jean's.  The woman that checked me out was so friendly and down-to-earth in helping me out with it being my "first time."  Another woman helped me out to my car and we discussed weight-loss, eating clean, and getting healthy.  I told her I'd recently started this and about the blog and turns out she's recently lost 75 lbs.  Her name was Rose and she looked amazing!  Anywho, such a great experience and I'd recommend it to anyone I know.  Great place with a great staff!  This was the start to a great weekend which I will have to share more about later :)  Thanks for reading and hope you all had a great weekend as well!!

Laugh 'Til it Hurts.... At Yourself :)

I am feeling like a total a$$ kicker this morning my friends. Let me just say that I've woke up the past, oh I don't know, 100 morning WISHING I'd have eaten differently the day before or worked out the day before and it was always an awful feeling. Let me tell you that that is NOT the case this morning. Just an hour on the treadmill last night and I already can feel a difference. And I already can't wait to get home and work out AGAIN. It's exciting right?! Can't wait to see where this journey takes me once this is a daily thing! So I wanted to talk this morning about laughing at yourself. I have struggled with my weight my entire life, always the biggest of my friends. Thing is, I was also a fulltime athlete, so even at my rock solid body in high school, I was still about 170. Super lean but full of muscle! Anyway, being the bigger girl, I always tried to be funny. (Usually successfully, lol.) But that's just who I grew in to. I LOVE making people laugh more than just about anything. It's something I make it a point to do daily. Probably why I've developed an obsession with stand-up comedy as well. But I want to emphasize on how important it is to be able to laugh at YOURSELF. I have been disgusted with my appearance, and obsessed with what I look like for quite some time now, but I haven't forgotten who I really am. I think I had recently gotten to a point where I was letting my weight overtake me completely, and that was when I made the decision to change it. So, don't let being overweight shadow who you really are. I laugh at myself all the time. My closest friends and I probably spend more time laughing than actually talking. HA! That being said, I wanted to share this picture, cuz it made me laugh out loud. And I hope it does the same for you!!! (Fat girls will understand :))

Hope I could make you laugh this morning.  Feel free to post your funnies right here and we can laugh together!!  ;)

Finally.......

Hey yal... this may be nothing to you but I was pouring out rivers of sweat from every pore and feeling fan-friggin-tastic. Some good news eh?! Now, time to treat my feet lol. They look like I have been at ballet boot camp!!! Oh and why is this titled "Finally...?" Cuz I FINALLY did a workout that kicked my butt. Haven't in months. And so it's officially begun. #gottastartsomewhere #hollaback :)

Wild Goose Chase

Don't you just love that^^^?  I think it's a sweet lil' quote with a pretty picture, but to me it has a lot more significance.  Yesterday I gave up on something big.  Well, someONE if you want to know the truth.  It hasn't been easy coming to this decision.   But it's not something I'll be bitter about or angry towards.  It's someone I can smile about when their memory comes to mind.  Someone I can be grateful for the time I had with them. *Insert quote from above picture.* And now, it's time to move on.  It will take awhile, but I know I'll be better for it.  I can't tell you how lucky I am to have the friends I do that have really lifted me up lately more than I deserve.  Alix and Stephanie, don't know what I'd do without you two!!  I love you both so dearly much!!  I know this has nothing to do with weight loss or tobacco, but it DOES have to do with letting go of something that means the world to you.  It DOES have to do with putting something down so you can pick up something better.  And I needed to share that with all of you.  (I also just love that quote/pic ;)) Sometimes it's just time to move on. So thanks for listening.  I am one blessed chica! *sigh of relief*